Finding My Way Back

I was born in Slidell, Louisiana, and raised in Baton Rouge. My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother struggled with drug addiction and eventually signed custody of my brother, sister, and me over to my father. My dad and my grandparents raised us, and despite the challenges, I had a loving and stable childhood.

My father was an incredible example. As a single father raising three children, he worked tirelessly to provide for us. He attended nursing school while also running a restaurant to make ends meet. Together with my grandparents, he created a strong foundation for our family and taught me the values that would eventually help me find my way back to myself.

Some of my happiest memories are the simple family traditions we shared. Every Saturday, we would gather at my grandparents' house, where my grandfather would grill hamburgers, and my grandmother would host large family gatherings. On Sundays, we would have dinner together after church. My grandparents were well known and respected in our community, and those family dinners remain some of my most treasured memories. If I could relive one day from my childhood, it would be sitting around that table with them again.

While my childhood appeared happy on the surface, I carried a painful secret. During visits with my mother's side of the family, I experienced abuse from a family member. I was only six years old, and I kept what happened to myself for many years. I didn't want to cause more problems between my parents, and I didn't understand how deeply the trauma would affect me later in life.

To cope with the pain, I threw myself into school. I earned excellent grades, played sports, and worked hard to be successful. But as I entered my teenage years, the emotional burden I had been carrying began to surface in unhealthy ways.

I started using marijuana when I was fifteen. By the time I was eighteen, I was experimenting with prescription pills and spending time with the wrong crowd. What began as small compromises gradually led to bigger ones. Before long, drugs became a regular part of my life.

Although I never used intravenous drugs, my addiction escalated to heroin, methamphetamine, ecstasy, and other substances. When I met the man who would later become my husband, our drug use became a central part of our lives. In 2006, we welcomed our daughter into the world, but addiction continued to control my decisions and prevented me from becoming the mother and person I wanted to be.

For years, I struggled with addiction. I worked jobs and tried to maintain a normal life, but drugs affected every aspect of it. My father attempted to help me more than once. After receiving a DUI in 2005, I entered a traditional rehabilitation program, but I wasn't ready to change and left almost immediately. I returned to drug use and continued down a destructive path.

“Mom, if you and Dad don't get help, I'm going to have to find somewhere else to live.”

Everything changed when my daughter confronted me. She looked at me and said, “Mom, if you and Dad don't get help, I'm going to have to find somewhere else to live.”

Those words broke through years of denial.

My daughter and I began searching online for treatment options, and that is when I found Narconon. As I researched the program, I was drawn to its approach. I wanted something different. I wanted more than simply stopping drugs. I wanted to understand why I had been using them in the first place and learn how to handle life without them.

I reached out and spoke with an intake counselor. She explained how the program focused on personal responsibility, honesty, and addressing the underlying causes of addiction. For the first time, I felt like someone understood what I was looking for.

The final step was reaching out to my father. We had been estranged for years, and I knew I had hurt him deeply. One night, I sat down with him and told him everything. The truth about my addiction, the pain I had been carrying, and my daughter's plea for help. Despite everything that had happened, he chose to help me. He assisted financially and helped make treatment possible.

Looking back now, that conversation changed my life.

My Experience at Narconon

When I finally arrived at Narconon, I was nervous, uncertain, and exhausted from years of addiction. It had taken nearly a month and a half of conversations with an intake counselor before I was ready to commit to going. Looking back, I am grateful she never gave up on me.

One of the main reasons I chose Narconon was because it was different from the programs I had seen before. I wanted something that would help me do more than simply stop using drugs. I wanted to understand why I had been using them in the first place and learn how to handle life's challenges without turning back to drugs.

The counselor explained that the program would help me take an honest look at myself, identify the choices I had made, and learn how to take responsibility for my future. That was exactly what I was looking for. During my years of addiction, I had become very good at lying to myself. I had lost sight of reality and convinced myself that I was okay when I clearly wasn't.

The staff at Narconon were incredible from the moment I arrived. Withdrawal was difficult, and there were times when I felt overwhelmed and wanted to give up. I struggled physically and emotionally, and there were moments when I felt completely lost. But the staff never stopped encouraging me. They were patient, understanding, and always available when I needed help.

One of the things that helped me most was learning and applying the practical tools I was given throughout the program. Whenever I felt anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed, there was always someone there to guide me through the process and help me regain my composure. Instead of simply being told what to do, I was learning skills that I could use for the rest of my life.

As I progressed through the program, I began to realize how many of the people and situations in my life had contributed to my drug use. I started making difficult but necessary decisions about what I needed to change in order to build a healthier future.

At one point during my stay, I decided that I wanted to contribute. I began helping in the kitchen, and what seemed like a small act turned out to be an important turning point for me. It gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Instead of simply focusing on my own struggles, I was able to help others and be part of something positive. It reminded me that I still had value and that I was capable of contributing to the world around me.

By the time I completed the program, I felt stronger, more confident, and more prepared for life than I had in years. Graduation was exciting, but it was also a little frightening. I knew I was leaving the safety of the program and stepping back into the real world. However, I also knew that I wasn't doing it alone.

One of the things that impressed me most was the continued support I received after graduation. The follow-up calls, encouragement, and attention to my exit plan helped me stay focused on my goals. I returned to live with my father and began putting everything I had learned into practice.

Being recovered was no longer just a dream. It was becoming my reality.

“Today, my life looks completely different from the life I was living before Narconon. I am employed, financially independent, and proud of the person I have become.”

Today, my life looks completely different from the life I was living before Narconon. I am employed, financially independent, and proud of the person I have become. I pay my bills on time, have good credit, and continue to build a future that once seemed impossible.

My favorite part of being drug-free is experiencing life's natural highs, for instance, the satisfaction of accomplishing goals, helping others, building healthy relationships, and knowing that I can handle challenges without turning to drugs.

To anyone struggling with addiction, my message is simple: if you decide to get help, commit to it fully. Getting off drugs is not always easy, but it is worth it. Be willing to do whatever it takes to create a better life for yourself. Sometimes that means changing your environment, your habits, your relationships, or even where you live. The important thing is to keep moving forward and never give up.

To families who are watching a loved one struggle, have the courage not to enable their addiction, but never stop believing that recovery is possible. Keep searching for solutions and never lose hope.

I have been through some of the darkest moments imaginable, but I have also seen what is possible on the other side. Today, I know deep down that no matter what challenges come my way, I am going to be okay.

Nicole M., Narconon Graduate