My Journey to Nearly a Decade of Sobriety

I grew up in Pauls Valley, Oklahoma. I’m 35 years old, and today I’m a professional competitive player, a father, and someone who is grateful to be living a life free from drugs.

My life today is pretty simple, and I like it that way. I wake up, eat breakfast, and usually go to the gym. From there, I typically go to work. I also enjoy playing chess, watching Netflix, hanging out with friends, and spending time with my 13-year-old son, who comes to stay with me every other week.

I’m doing better than I was when I was doing drugs.

How My Drug Use Began

I was in high school when I was first introduced to drugs. I was around people who were already using, and I became interested in trying them myself. As soon as I tried them, I really liked how they made me feel. I kept using them, kept partying, and eventually my drug use became a major part of my life.

My main drug of choice was opiates.

At first, my drug use was recreational. I would use on weekends with friends when we were socializing and partying. But over the course of about a year, it slowly turned into everyday use.

It just got worse and worse.

I didn’t have any major problems at first. I liked how the drugs made me feel, and I always wanted to feel that way. I knew I shouldn’t be using them, but as time went by, it became harder and harder to stop.

The Impact Addiction Had on My Life

At first, my drug use didn’t affect my family because they didn’t know about it. Once they found out, though, it strained my relationships with them.

I felt ashamed to be around my family because I didn’t want them to see me if I was on drugs. It created distance between us.

My relationships with my friends weren’t much different. Most of my friends were using drugs, so drug use became a normal part of my social life. The girl I was with was also using drugs. Looking back, it was a mutual mess.

The emotional impact was probably the worst part for me.

I lost a lot of weight. I felt depressed all the time, and I didn’t feel proud of what I was doing with my life. It was very depressing to have to use every day just to get through the day.

Work was another area where I was affected. Somehow, I managed to hold my job down, but I know I could have done better if I didn’t constantly have to worry about drugs and when I was going to get them or use them.

What made my addiction especially difficult was that a lot of it happened internally. Almost no one knew that I was using drugs. From the outside, I was able to keep things together, but inside, I was struggling.

I just remember that I wanted to quit for a long time.

Narconon

I had reached my lowest point. I had quit my job, I was depressed, and I weighed only 125 pounds. I was very skinny and unhealthy.

My mom helped me get to Narconon. She did a lot of the work to get everything set up. She had been researching treatment options and found Narconon online.

I really wanted to go.

I had tried another program in Oklahoma that followed a 12-step approach, but I didn’t feel like it was right for me. I personally hated it. The approach at Narconon resonated with me more.

“One of the biggest moments for me happened about three or four months into the program. I remember realizing that my anxiety and depression were a lot less than when I first arrived. The cravings weren’t there anymore. I wasn’t thinking about drugs all the time.”

One of the biggest moments for me happened about three or four months into the program.

I remember realizing that my anxiety and depression were a lot less than when I first arrived. The cravings weren’t there anymore. I wasn’t thinking about drugs all the time.

That was when I started feeling like things were getting better.

I also really enjoyed helping other people who were going through the program. Being able to support other people gave me a sense of purpose and made me feel like I was contributing to something bigger than myself.

I liked the structure of the program and the way it was organized from beginning to end. I appreciated being able to work through each step of the program and being able to focus on different aspects of my recovery.

I also liked the physical aspects of the program, including exercise and the sauna. When I was feeling stressed, receiving assists helped me lower my stress levels and get back on track.

Toward the end of the program, I especially liked developing my plan for returning home and figuring out how I was going to take what I had learned and apply it to my life.

When I finished, I felt like I had gotten a lot out of the experience.

Enjoying Life Without Drugs

Today, I can enjoy the things I enjoy without worrying about drugs getting in the way or ruining them.

I don’t have to worry about the health problems that came along with my drug use. I don’t have to deal with the sketchy people and situations that were part of my life when I was using.

I can work out. I can eat healthy. I can go to the gym. I’m just healthier, and I feel better.

My relationships with my family have also become close again. I talk to my mom and dad regularly, and overall, things are good.

Most importantly, I get to be present for my son and enjoy my life without drugs controlling my decisions.

I graduated from Narconon in 2017, and I’ve now been sober for nearly 10 years.

When I look at where I am today compared to where I was when I was using drugs, the difference is huge. I have my health, my family, my career, my hobbies, and my freedom.

I can wake up every day and decide what I want to do with my life.

And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

—Trai M., Narconon Graduate