Support Groups Helping Parents of Drug Addicts to Shed the Shame
While few people truly understand the effects of drug use, abuse, and addiction, even fewer people consider the full extent of the damaging effects these problems can have on an addict’s family members. True, they may not themselves be directly suffering from the physical, mental and emotional effects caused by the ingestion of drug substances, but there is no doubt that they are suffering mental and emotional effects as a result of their loved one’s drug abuse and addiction.
Not the least of these effects is a feeling of guilt or shame – that perhaps one either drove their loved one into drug use or that one had the power to prevent it from happening if they had only taken action. Unfortunately, these feelings of guilt and shame can actually stand in the way of getting a loved one the treatment and help they desperately need.
Helping Parents Shed the Shame
Brenda Stewart well knows the shame that comes with having a family member addicted to drugs. When her oldest son developed a crystal methamphetamine addiction, she became so ashamed that she shared her problems with no one around her, and simply stewed in her own “stinking thinking” as she now calls it. She always assumed that at some point she would send her son off for treatment, but the shame of openly admitting his problems by enrolling him in rehabilitation treatment held her back. Stewart admits that it wasn’t just shame of her son’s problems that prevented her from taking action, it was the shame that others would think she had done something to cause her son’s problems.
Stewart’s feelings of shame, guilt and the need for secrecy increased a few years later when her younger son also developed a crystal methamphetamine addiction. Stewart actually became physically ill as a result of her ordeal, and her desperate attempts to save her children. It has taken fifteen years, but now both her sons are in recovery. Stewart herself has found a strong purpose in helping others overcome the same struggles she has, by coordinating the Ohio chapter of the Addict’s Mom, a national online support group for parents of drug addicts.
The Addict’s Mom seeks to raise general awareness of the issues that parents of drug addicts face. Many parents of recovering addicts find that the group provides them with a way to tell others that it is okay to share their struggles with those around them and that it is okay to seek help for these problems. In fact, it is far better to do so and to get one’s child onto the road for recovery sooner rather than hide these problems out of guilt, shame or fear. The Addict’s Mom gives parents a way to safely share their stories with others – avoiding the general stigma attached to drug abuse and addiction – so that they don’t have to struggle alone.
The Addict’s Mom was founded in 2008 by Barbara Theodosiou after she discovered her own son’s drug addiction problems. The group is intended to help all parents, despite the name, and members are accepted by online administrators. Online forums for discussion are monitored very carefully to ensure that the dialogue between members remains positive overall. Over the years, chapters have formed in all fifty states and attracted more than twenty-five thousand members who are seeking to shed the shame that comes with having a drug-addicted family member.
The online nature of the Addict’s Mom allows individuals who may not normally consider joining a group or participating in a meeting a chance to tell their story and gain the support they need to help their child overcome their drug addiction problems. One member indicated that this group is not intended to replace recovery or other support groups, but rather can further strengthen them by allowing parents a safe place in which to discuss their problems.
Understanding Addiction
In supporting parents to overcome the shame tied with a child’s drug addiction problems, group founder Barbara Theodosiou points out that the social stigma connected with drug abuse and addiction problems can often cause extensive harm – if only in that it shames parents into hiding the truth about their child’s problems rather than seeking help for them. A child’s choices may be theirs alone, but sometimes parents can feel as though others around them are judging them based on the choices their child has made, and this can be difficult to deal with. The Addict’s Mom hopes to help erase some of the social stigma connected with drug abuse and addiction problems by raising awareness and understanding of these problems so that people can deliver and receive the help they need in order to overcome them.